It just doesn’t work like that. I can’t unsee you. I can’t unfeel your energy. I can’t find alignment where there isn’t.

I turned the water all the way to hot. I have always loved my showers really hot. I pulled the elastic from my hair and stepped into the shower.

“Don’t wash your hair” she yelled from the doorway.

Right, I thought to myself. I can perseverate in a place of needing to understand, or I can accept and move forward. My life wasn’t meant to be fitting in, I couldn’t do my life's work and also fit it.

I stared at her through the zoom screen, wishing that there was not so much space between us. We were talking about the area that she was staying in, Miami.

My left foot slid easily and comfortably over my right. It has rested there a million times, maybe a million and one. It has happened so many times that I didn’t even think twice about it.

It was the morning after he had died. I felt numb. I knew it was exactly how he would have picked to go and for that I felt grateful.

. Immediately, the solar plexus singing bowl began to work effectively. I smiled at her as she gently cried and began the healing process.

I realized just how good it felt to sit in my kitchen. I closed my eyes and focused on what the energy felt like. I felt a sense of peace and felt well supported in that space.

Whenever I ground into my body I have carried judgement and attached emotions. It is almost as if I am fighting my body. This was the first time that I dropped down into my body with a state of flow. It was like meeting my body for the first time, only I am 39.

I sat on wooden steps and looked at my nails. The woman likely had no idea how much clarity she had given me during our conversation. I knew deep in my soul that gel or dip over my nails didn’t make me feel sexy. Sexy comes from within me