I sat silently holding my cup of coffee in my hands. I had multiple blogs that were “stuck” inside of me but there I sat not even attempting to write them. I realized that I was solidly sitting in my subconscious thoughts so I closed my eyes, held my coffee and drifted into meditation.

I journal naked frequently. I also write my blog posts naked most of the time. You may wonder why I am telling you this, but I promise there is a reason.

I like the way that the mug makes contact with my lip. It isn’t super thick on the rim of the mug, it is simply perfect. It brings me genuine joy to lift the mug to my mouth and press it against my lip.

I believe that we are all here to heal and grow and often we need to heal things before we can expand and grow. Spirit shows me healing opportunities with my clients and for that I will be forever grateful.

I would be lying if I said that it didn’t sting. That was part of how I knew it was true. Protective reflexes began to boil up in my body.

As I stood in the shower allowing water to wash over me, I cried. I needed to cry. I needed to feel this deeply so I could fix it.

I had to relinquish the human control that I was trying to exhibit. I had to turn around, lie back, remove my feet from the solid ground that I thought I wanted and allow the water to hold me.

We both knew what she was doing. She was holding space so that I could let go. It was a gift that I didn’t realize I needed and was so grateful to receive.

Suddenly there was movement outside of the window and then a “tap, tap, tap”. I leaned over to look at what was tapping. A bright red male cardinal tilted his head sideways, looked at me, tapped again and flew off.

Multiple times throughout the morning I had reached for my phone. I wanted to find comfort from a message or a call with someone else. A distraction, an avoidance, a momentary relief from my uncomfortableness.