I knew that it was likely going to sting. I knew that it would likely make her recoil. I knew that it would make her heart hurt and ache a little. I knew that she would feel excluded and a bit abandoned. I knew that it would hurt and there was no part of me that wanted to hurt her, truly. I care about her deeply and would never want to intentionally or unintentionally hurt her.

He purchased a reading at the expo and I knew from the moment he walked up to the booth that he would be different to read. He sat down and said “no pressure, but I have walked all the way around this expo and came back to you because I knew that you would read me best and would tell me something profound”.

“Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who to be?” - Charles Bukowski

I had this quote on my story on social media. She directly messaged me, “Such a strong question.”

I wrote back “It’s THE question”.

It wasn’t what I had planned in my head. But, then again, what really is? I learned a long time ago to surrender and follow the flow that the universe is showing me. I could have forced the situation, I honestly could have.

An important part of parenting for me is to teach my children how to listen to their inner voice rather than listening to what society and other people want from/of them. In this situation, we had already told the person who we needed to tell that he would not be attending and why, and then she had gently pressured him into saying yes again despite the fact that he desperately didn’t want to and his inner voice was screaming no.

I opened my eyes from meditation and realized that I must have been crying during the meditation. I hadn’t been aware of it but wet, warm, salty tears were on my face and drops had soaked into my shirt. It didn’t surprise me that I had been crying, but I also hadn’t been aware of it. 

I closed my eyes and started to relax into the meditation only to be snapped back into my body. A wave of dizziness washed over me as I grabbed with my right hand for the bed beneath me. I recognized the sensation for what it was, I was ungrounded.

After the space was all set up, I began to look around at other vendors and their set-up. I started feeling into the vibration of the experience and the collectiveness of the expo and was brought back to a memory of another expo that we had attended where I had gotten far more than I expected. I acknowledged that this was likely going to happen again.

I had attended with one intention in mind. I had gone into the expo wanting exposure for the business. What I got was something very different, something far more valuable

I tried to uncross my arms only to realize that it was a real struggle, my arms wanted to be across my chest, so I allowed them to be. As I listened to her talking I recognized that I had even pulled my fleece jacket tight across my chest before I had crossed my arms.