I had finally worked up the courage to try an ultra marathon. After I built up the courage, I built up the excitement around it. I mapped out a training schedule and started increasing mileage. It felt slightly outside of my comfort zone. Let me be honest, it was outside of my comfort zone. I am fairly confident that part of my draw to that distance was that it was outside of my comfort zone. Growth happens for me outside of my comfort zone. Growth happens when I want something more than I want to stay comfortable.
I hadn’t talked about the race with many people. It was likely a protection mechanism. He felt completely safe to talk to about it. Not only did he meet me with genuine excitement, he also met me with support. He must have known that I needed to hear some encouragement, because he threw it my way without a single request.
I vividly remember the excitement I felt the night before my first full marathon. I wish I could bottle up and save that excitement and the energy. Not just the energy the night before, but the energy picking up the race number, going pee one last time which inevitably turned into 2 more, walking and jumping before the race to get excited energy out, the music at the start line, the encouraging energy from all of the runners. I have always wanted to bottle that energy and save it.
Needless to say, I felt completely deflated when I got the email that the race had been moved. I told him about the change in date and how I hoped to be able to run a marathon or two over the summer. He came back with the most beautiful question that made me recoil. He asked me why I needed it to be a race, why couldn’t I just do it myself?
His question was simple. When training for a race I would always have distance runs built into my training schedule. I loved them. They were always my favorite part of the training schedule. They were just outside of my comfort zone and I always got a nice dose of excited energy, like race day. I spent the next couple of weeks thinking about his question. The reality is that I was likely seeking external validation. The ironic part is that my pace and my time no longer matter to me, I gave up my focus on those years ago. It was about the experience, so why did I need to have an official race? I didn’t want to admit that it was external validation, I fought verbalizing it. If I was being completely honest, I wanted to say that I had run a 50 K race rather than just saying I had completed a run that distance. As soon as I could admit it to myself, I started to challenge myself on that. I wanted to run that distance because having a goal like that encouraged me to take my running schedule more seriously. I wanted to run that distance because it made me drink more water and eat healthier meals. I wanted to run that distance because it gave me more time in a meditative state. Those were the real reasons. Just like that, I started planning my own 50 K.
The next time someone asks you a question that is outside of your comfort zone or makes you recoil, recognize that there may be a growth opportunity there for you.
