Between the sheets

I was always thankful when I got off. It felt like a stretch, like the long game, like the lottery. It felt like something that was hard to achieve but great to have. I love sex, I always have. Our bodies are amazing and our minds are even better. Sex is an interesting combination of mind and body, or so I thought. 

Like so many women, I liked sex, but felt frustrated by the illusiveness of good orgasms. It was that simple.

I worked to clear blocks, those that were in my past, in my soul, in my body, in my future, in myself. I have always acknowledged energy, but didn’t always know how to work with it. I remember the day that I sat down, naked on my floor, I crossed my legs, I closed my eyes and tears flowed freely from me during a meditation. It was the start of understanding myself on a deeper level. It was the start of healing on a deeper level.

As I understood myself and healed myself,I realized that energy was meant to flow through me. I started by dipping my toes in the water. I walked slowly out into the energetic water, much like wading into the lake or ocean. I wasn’t sure what I was sensing and I couldn’t see my feet, it was disorienting and I found myself standing still for a moment, not sure where to go in the water. Then, I just dove. I didn’t need to be able to see my feet, I didn’t need to understand what I was sensing or feeling. I knew that I was safe and that was enough. I took a deep breath and held in my breath, as I sunk deep into the water. 

I was my own barrier. I knew it in the moment that I crawled across the bed. I gripped the sheets. I lifted my head. I moaned. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get away or if I wanted to stay. I didn’t understand what I was sensing and feeling, but I knew that it was raw and real.  I knew that it was pure and good. I took a deep breath and held my breath, I sunk deep into myself and just like that I orgasmed again. 

Days later, I realized that I was my own barrier. If I could get off twice, why couldn’t I do it more. I took a deep breath and held my breath, I sunk into myself and all of the orgasms. I crawled across the bed, up the wall and out of myself. I strung orgasms together, one after a-lovely-nother . As I let energy flow through me, it flowed through me…. more than I could understand when I first started this journey. 

To all of the women who are thankful for a single orgasm, find yourself and let universal energy flow through you, you won’t be sorry!

Writing on my Run

The sky was dark and the air was thick with water. We needed a thunderstorm but I didn’t think that it was actually coming. The first couple of steps are always some of my favorites. When I transition from walking to running and round the corner on my driveway to head for the road. 

Almost immediately, the rhythm of my feet allowed spirit communication to openly flow through me. As I relaxed into my run and my body found a rhythm with the road, so did spirit find a rhythm with words. The sweat that ran down my neck, down my arms and off my forehead was real and was from deep inside my soul. It was much like the writing that was being passed through me on this run; real and deep from within my soul and the souls who worked with me. 

Spirit loves to write through me during a run, I know that I vibrate higher and the rhythm of my feet allows me to step sideways in my brain to allow spirit to flow through me more freely. The native americans have been using drumming and the rhythm that drumming creates for far longer than I care to guess. Somehow I determined when I was a young teen that running allowed me to do this exact thing and I loved it before I even really understood what I was doing.

As I ran and heard the words flowing more eloquently than I could think of writing, I wondered why spirit was insisting on writing while I was running. I immediately got a response that it was a practice in holding space. I needed to learn to hold those words and their flow inside of my body, and this was a forced way to practice. The act of holding space is important for all healers. Spirit was pushing me to practice in a different way, which I accepted and appreciated. 

When spirit writes through me the outcome is entirely different than when I write alone. I believe that many artists experience this, lean on this, lean into this, and grow with this. The words are different when they are from spirit and their flow is different. The ability to allow spirit in and weave myself and spirit together is not always smooth,but it is always an impressive outcome.

I make me happy

I remember vividly walking through the house feeling excitement bubbling inside of me. It was perfect and I loved it. It made me happy, it would make me happy, I would love it. And I did. 

Almost two years later, I sold the home that I loved and moved into a new home with someone whom I thought I would love forever. As we walked through the house on the first showing I knew that it would make me happy, I knew that I would love it…. And I did. 

Almost two years later, I realized that I had been silly. No physical item could ever make me happy. It was a distraction, one that I was seeking desperately to avoid looking at my wounds. It was easier to think that external items, experiences, people, things, would make me happy. The physical items and the people whom I sought would never make me happy, how could they? I needed to find happiness within myself. The process wasn’t smooth or easy. The process wasn’t pretty. The process involved mediation, running, crying, water, and looking at myself straight on. The process was worth everything, literally everything. Finding myself, loving myself, healing myself and finding happiness was worth everything. I felt vividly as I sunk into myself, the excitement bubbling inside of me. I am perfect, I love me, I make me happy.

No thank you!

No thank you. Years ago, I would attend events, visit with people, and spend time in ways that I didn’t want to, and then somehow feel put out about it. When I really started to internalize the fact that it was ludicrous to spend time in ways that I didn’t want to and even more ludicrous to feel like a victim about it, I stopped. I started using the words, no thank you. They are easy words, yet they can be hard to say. When I started using them regularly a lot of things changed in my life, I got the gift of time back. The act of being purposeful with your time and life is empowering. No, thank you. I used to add a statement of explanation or apology but then I realized that I wasn’t being true to myself or the other person in the situation.

You don’t owe anyone an apology or an explanation for how you want to live your life. You don’t need to justify being purposeful or mindful of your time and energy. It is just that simple!

No, thank you! Use it and see how much happier you can be.

Driftwood

We were spending the day at the ocean for my birthday, it was everything that I wanted. Over the past couple of years, my drive for physical things had almost vanished. All I wanted was time and experiences. My son needed to use the restroom and he and I went running up the beach towards the bathhouse. I thought it was weird that you were running alongside me. You loved to run in life, and frequently found me on my daily run so it didn’t surprise me to have you running beside me, but your energy felt off. We started running through the powdery sand which made me laugh, it is awkward and I couldn’t help but think it is funny. 

“Grab that wood” you yelled at me. 

I stopped and picked up a piece of driftwood that was almost completely buried in the sand. I pulled the piece from the sand and kept running. I didn’t want to make my son wait, so I carried the piece of wood without even looking at it. We reached the bathroom and I stood outside waiting. I chatted with a woman for a moment or two about the weather and then I looked down at the wood. In my hand was a piece of driftwood, smooth, soft and a perfect heart shape. 

“Happy birthday” you said standing against the wall. 

It was by far my favorite birthday present!

Skin to skin

As I drove the hour and 15 minutes to the waterfall I could feel myself letting go of the human side of life, all of the business and chaos that surrounds life from time to time. As I drove, the world got quiet, my thoughts got quiet, life slowed down and a feeling of peace washed over me. 

As I walked the path out to the waterfall I felt immense gratitude for the time and space to be connecting with the earth and universe and myself on this beautiful day. My children were safe and happy with my mother and I didn’t have to wonder or worry about the human side of life at all. 

I walked out onto the rocks and immediately stripped off my socks and shoes. I sat down and just adjusted to the energy and the vibration of the space. I welcomed the energy into me and accepted all that it had to offer me. 

After the world got slow and silent I carefully walked down the rocks and waded out into a pool made by the waterfall. The water was cold and clean and flowing quickly. As I sunk down into the water I felt it washing away pain and fear. Some of the pain and fear I knew that I was holding onto and then some I didn’t even realize was there. As I rocked side to side with the rushing of the water, clarity about life washed over me, into me rather. 

I got out and climbed back up onto the large rock and marveled at the swirling energy in the rocks. I took off excess clothing and sat down on the rock. For a brief moment, sitting there was enough. Then, I wanted to sink into the rock. I wanted to be part of the rock. I wanted to be grounded, solid and strong like the rock. I lay back and spread my arms and legs, pressing my body against the rock. And, there I lay and lay and lay. Eventually, I rolled over and pressed the front of my body against the rock. I slowly closed my eyes and sank into the rock, into the water, into the earth and into myself. 

When a child is born, the parents are told to strip their clothes off and press the child against their chest, called “skin to skin”. It is a way to connect with the child and for the child to feel safe, to get literal and figurative protection from the parent. Like a newborn, I needed to be skin to skin with mother earth and like a newborn I got safety and protection. 

Finding the 7 of Wands

You lost one of your tarot cards, making the deck almost useless. You were attached to the deck and had used it daily. I was in the process of opening to remote viewing and trying to understand exactly what my body did and how. I told you that I thought the card was between the passenger seat and the center console. You told me that you had already checked there and found a card there earlier that day, which is what made you check if you were missing one. I felt strongly that it was there, I could feel it, I could see it, it had to be there. You checked again and told me no. It left me with a very confused feeling. A feeling of distrust in myself and my ability to remote view. We broke up only days later. The card rattled in my brain and I kept the unsettled feeling.

About 4 months later I got the urge to date again. Despite the fact that our relationship was short lived, I loved the connection we had. You were the first person who I dated and felt safe being vulnerable about my metaphysical abilities, even the ones that I was just opening to. At the end of our relationship, you threw some of those abilities in my face, which took me off guard given that you had your own. 

My closest spirit guide asked me to wait until after my birthday to seek a new relationship. I agreed without thinking twice. On my birthday I got a strong urge to clean my car. It was an odd emotion that I didn’t understand but I also did not embrace it. As we were driving back from the ocean my oldest son asked about cleaning the car, which made me laugh, odd that he would say that just after I was thinking it. 

Two days later I decided to clean my car. I pulled my boys shoes and sweatshirts from under the seats and as I leaned down to start vacuuming I started to feel that there was something I needed to check for between the passenger seat and the center console, honestly the card never crossed my mind. I peeked between the seat and console and there I saw the small stripes on the back of the card. I knew before reaching for it that it was your card. I smiled to myself. It was exactly where I said that it would be….. I just had the wrong car. It was a beautiful sign from the universe and I felt profoundly grateful for it. Just the night before I had actively started seeking a new romantic relationship. The timing was uncanny, when I was finally ready to release the relationship and move on, the universe rewarded me with validation about remote viewing. You took your cards everywhere, literally everywhere, so the likelihood that it would be between the center console and the passenger seat was tiny. I was fine with the fact that I had the wrong vehicle, I was working through the details of how to interpret this information and this was a learning opportunity for me to understand context better with how I remote view. I have never sought remote viewing training, I have maintained the belief that if the universe wants me to understand it, then it will show me. 

I reached for the card and pulled it out. The seven of wands. I smiled from ear to ear. I have always viewed this card a little different than standard tarot books will describe it. It shows a man, wearing two different shoes, standing on the top of a hill with a wand (stick) fighting off 6 other wands. I have always seen it as being slightly unprepared for your situation (different shoes) and fighting a make-believe fight. There is a man who is fighting with a stick…. These are not swords, they are sticks. Whenever I see this card I always ask, what are you really fighting here friend? I always view 7 as a spiritually driven number. The card was perfect for him. The card was perfect for me. The card couldn’t have been more perfect.

If you are looking to see what is in your cards, click here!

Exact Price?

My phone rang, I was cooking dinner and when I saw your name across my screen I knew that you wanted to talk about your house. You loved her house, truly loved the house. You were about to put it on the market, which was a huge step for you. There were tons of memories of your daughter, who had passed, making it hard to sell.

I picked up, and immediately you told me about stress and resistance from the day. You went on to tell me that your house was about to go on the market but the real estate agent said that she thought that you should drop the price by 10K, before even listing it. I said no, that when the house went on the market you would get a full price offer on 8/1 of 219K. You thanked me for the validation and hung up.

2 days later, I got a text that you got a full price offer, just like I said on 8/1.  I called you back and listened to all of the beautiful details. I then told you that you would be getting an offer at $225K the next day. You quietly told me that you would love that but that it felt a little uncomfortable. 

The next day, I got a text “don’t ever question your abilities”. I called and listened to your sweet words as you told me that you got an offer of $225K and that you accepted it as fast as you received it. 

While I am sure that the information about house pricing was useful for you, the experience was honestly about me. This may sound odd because you selling your home truly has nothing to do with me but I had been working on the accuracy of my psychic readings and wanting to sink deep into the small details. I knew that I had the ability to pull out the small details and wanted to access all of the abilities that I have, so I had been focusing on specifics. The universe gave me a beautiful chance to practice and I felt so profoundly grateful for the validation.

If you are looking for insight into a situation and would like to book a reading, click here.

Finding Andrew

I am a very light sleeper, I always have been. I woke to the sound of my son walking from his room to mine. 

“Are you ok” I asked as he approached my doorway.

“I can’t find Andrew” he said with panic in his voice.

I jumped from my bed “what do you mean” I asked as I quickly walked to the boys room. They made the choice awhile ago to all sleep in the same room despite the fact that there is a room for each of them in the house. 

“I woke up and he was gone. I checked the bathroom and he wasn’t there” he said.

I quietly but quickly opened the door to their room and looked in the beds. My oldest child wasn’t in his bed, I pulled the covers back. I peeked at the top of the bunkbed and my youngest was sound asleep with the covers pulled all the way up. 

“I told you” my middle son said.

“Was the bedroom door open when you woke up” I asked. I had checked on them and shut the door before I went to bed. 

“Yes, I think so” he said back. 

I quickly went through each room in the top of the house then ran down the back stairway and started looking in rooms downstairs. As the panic rose in my mind I started running. My oldest has a seizure disorder and there have been times when he walked during or after a seizure with zero reason or safety precautions. I used to have the stairways gated because I once watched him walk down the stairs and once off from a bed. It had been years since he had done this but it didn’t stop the panic from washing over me like a wave in the ocean. As I ran from room to room turning on lights and yelling for him my mind started thinking horrible thoughts. 

“Mom, should we look outside” my middle son asked with panic in his voice. 

“No, the locks are still locked on the doors” I had already had that horrible thought run through my mind. 

As absolute terror set in I realized that I was solidly in my head. Our minds can play tricks on us. Our bodies don’t lie. I took one deep breath and focused my energy on my body. I have been able to dowse with my body (without a tool) for as long as I can remember, I did it before I understood what I was doing. As my energy went from frantic to completely and utterly calm I knew that my body was going to find Andrew. I turned and knew in an instant that Andrew was up on the top bunk with Aiden. I walked up the stairs quickly but calmly, walked into the boys room and immediately pulled the blanket that was covering Aiden down. Andrew was wedged between the wall and the mattress and the blanket had been covering his whole body including his head. 

Both boys sleepily sat up and looked at me “Mama, what are you doing” Aiden asked. 

“We couldn’t find Andrew” I explained.

“Oh, I just really love Aiden and I wanted to snuggle him” Andrew said. 

“Oh, I really love that, and I really love you sweet boys” I said as I pulled the blankets back up, kissed their heads and shut the door. 

Waving with Rhonda

The rhythm of my feet on the pavement made my heart and soul sing. I was in a state of utter bliss as I ran on the hot and humid afternoon last week. I had already gotten to the halfway mark of my run and was headed back towards home starting back up the incline in the road. I was solidly in my head in a meditative state when I saw a sweet elderly woman at the end of a driveway by the mailbox. I focused on her as I ran and realized that she was dilly-dallying at the end of the driveway. A wave of immense loneliness came crashing over me. As I approached her I waved  and said “it was a beautiful afternoon, eh?” 

“You are doing great” she said back as if she had been waiting to say that.

I smiled and said “thank you”. I slowed my pace and crossed the road. It was clear that she was looking to speak. 

We introduced ourselves and she asked where I lived, I explained. She then proceeded to tell me that she had just lost her husband and that it was her first visit to the store in a long time. She said that it had been 3 weeks since she had spoken with someone in person. I barely said a word, I smiled while she told me her life story. She told me about the beauty and abundance of love that she had experienced. She told me about the recent loss of her husband. She told me that she was never able to have children. She told me of her medical conditions and her plan to place herself on a path of health and wellness. It was clear that she needed to be heard and validated. A car went by and I waved.

“Oh, how do you know those people” she asked.

“I don’t” I said back.

She stared at me blankly and then laughed and said “no, really, how do you know them”. 

“I don’t” I said back and smiled. Another car went by and I waved.

“Why would you wave to them” she asked with a clear disconnect in her voice. 

“I like people” I said back. It was that simple. I like people. I like the connections that humans have with each other. I like wishing people the best. These people are crossing my path and my energy field. I appreciate each driver who makes the choice to swerve around me on my run. These are my neighbors. These are locals. These are humans who happen to be coming in contact with me. I wave at everyone who passes me while I run. It is a simple act of kindness and I believe that simple acts of kindness is how we see chance. I never expect a wave back, however, it lights my world up when people wave back or flash a peace sign. Love people, enjoy people, find the light side of life, spray love like a water sprinkler. I promise, you won’t be sorry.

She giggled awkwardly and said “I guess you do, You have been talking to a stranger for the past 20 minutes and act like you enjoy the conversation”.

“Oh Rhonda, I do enjoy this conversation. I feel wildly blessed that you were willing to share glimpses of your life with me”. 

She made beautiful eye contact with me. Her eyes sparkled and a childlike energy came out of her. 

As she climbed into her car to drive to her house, she smiled and waved to me.