I turned and smiled at him. The truth was that we spoke like this all of the time. It is part of why we are such a good fit. Both of us had a drive to have more knowledge and a deeper understanding of ourselves and the human experience. We could talk in depth about anything and everything, and we did.

I listened to her talking openly about how she had fear of not knowing enough. How she felt that she needed to prove herself and all that she knew. I could remember that vividly and if I am being honest, I wasn’t too far outside of it myself.

“You see, I have this client who pays for sessions occasionally and I literally say almost nothing. This client will pay me to hold a ground for them. My job is to hold a grounded, safe, open, non-judgmental space which allows the client to process their emotions and thoughts. The client doesn’t need much support with the actual processing of emotions and thoughts, they simply need me to hold a safe ground for them.”

She couldn’t own what her own process was and was bending the truth. She couldn’t openly articulate her truth which wasn’t surprising, she never could. She has spent the majority of her life denying one truth after another, both large and small. Standing in her truth and owning her process was foreign territory for her, that she didn’t know and wasn’t comfortable in

I was sitting with my head back, hands clasped around my knees, looking up at the stars. My eyes would slowly close and then open again as I floated between worlds, in and out of meditation.

As smoothly and fluidly as water I began to drift in and out of my body, back and forth, side to side, up and down, in every direction creating a sphere. As I played in this space I could feel the tension rising and knew the sensation well. Shortly, I would launch out of my body and out of the earthly plane.

I took a deep breath in and a slow exhale out. Each time I had trusted in the past, it worked out in my highest good. So, I went back to floating and felt the security of the universe holding me, physically and metaphorically.

He was wildly unsettled and agitated. It was seeping from every ounce of his being. His body was shaky and he was screaming about everything and anything. I had given him a minute to allow his nervous system to come down and reset to baseline. He was laying in a bed with heavy covers on. I told him that I wanted him to either take a bath, shower or get into the hot tub. He said that he would but wanted to go outside first.

Sometimes, you don’t even know what you need. You just know that you need something. Today, was one of those days. I was processing something hard and had cried off and on much of the day.

But, what if you are mad? Do you not have the right to express that openly or to have that emotion? Does that other person not think that the two of you are able to work through whatever emotions arise?