I was excited to take the almost 90 minute drive and spend the day immersed in magick. I recorded videos for my Patreon members and one for Ivan. Ivan wanted it to go out to people who donated to his fundraiser. It was a journey to find magick inside of yourself. I recorded it and felt excited about the whole day. I knew that the Ivan journey felt awkward coming out of me, but when I got home and listened to it, I didn’t like it. There was so much that I wanted to change, to re-do. I didn’t have a large window of time and as I went to bed that night I decided I would just make the time later in the week.

I woke early and started being productive almost immediately. It felt odd, like I was going somewhere but I wasn’t. I had a day filled with work at home, a shamanic session with a client and a reading. As I took the food scraps out to feed to the chickens he showed up. “We are going back” he said. “Yes, on Friday” I said back. “Today” he said. I paused as I scooped the grain out for the chickens. I wasn’t sure how it could fit into my day. I needed 3 hours of drive-time and then the time to hike in and record it and hike out. I was solidly in my head thinking about it.

“Do you have something better to do today?” he asked.

The answer was simple and clear, no. No, I didn’t. I had things and those things were important but spending time with my ancestors, co-creating with them, learning from them was clearly what I was meant to do that day.

I moved an appointment to later in the day and packed my bag.