As we walked into the house I felt nervous and excited all at the same time. I knew that I was nervous because I awkwardly moved my hands not knowing exactly where they should be as we walked down the path. I felt lucky that one of my hands carried a bag of food, so I was limited on how I was nervously moving that one. I had already tuned into her energy and I knew that I would really like her. Her soul carried a level of nurturing and comfort that felt safe. I wasn’t worried about liking her, I knew that I already did. I wasn’t worried about her liking me as a person, I knew that she would. I worried about her ability to process the fact that I am a medium.
I am a strong believer that my truth doesn’t need to be another person's truth. I make that statement in each class and reading. We all have different truths and we all have the right to stand in our truths. We also all have the ability and right to grow and have our truths change. For example, the first time I was told that everything in my life was a mirror I disagreed. Almost 2 years later, that became a truth for me and something that I know and believe in my soul, but initially it didn’t feel true. As I grow spiritually and personally my mindset and belief system expand, change and grow also. My truth never needs to be another person's truth and I am finally in a place where I have addressed enough self love issues that a discrepancy in truth does not bother me.
I knew she was unsure about the mediumship, specifically given her strong religious background, but I also knew she had an open mind. We walked in together and I wanted to cling to his arm and wrap my hand inside of his. I loved the security that he offered me but instead I stood a step away…… well, let’s be honest, a half step away.
I could feel multiple spirits when we pulled up to the house. It didn’t surprise me given the three beautiful women who lived inside were all widows. Within minutes of arriving I watched the lights dim and brighten again. It happened a couple of times and then eventually they started to flicker. Spirits are energy, and it is easy for them to access electrical or electronic devices. They can turn them on or off, or make them flicker when trying to get attention. I was still growing into my mediumship, I will always be growing into my mediumship as it is a lifelong journey. What I really meant to say is that I was just growing confidence in my mediumship again after coming out of a difficult relationship that I allowed to shake my confidence in my abilities. I tried hard to be focused on the human realm that was present in front of me. I typically spend most of my day with one foot in both realms, which feels comfortable and easy at this point, however I really needed to be grounded in the human world for this interaction. The lights continued to flicker. I asked to use the bathroom. Bathrooms have always been a place where I could pause and reset energy which is really what I needed. As I stood washing my hands I said “I see you, I feel you and I know that you are here but I can’t talk right now”. The acknowledgment was enough to make him stop flickering the lights. Just like us humans, spirits like to be acknowledged and heard.
While the lights dimmed and eventually went out on our relationship, I got the confidence and self love back to step into the light with mediumship. I will always be grateful for lights that flicker and lead the way.
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