I fought back tears as I pulled my clothes off. I swallowed hard and breathed through my nose. I welcomed the sacred space of the bathroom and knew that the shower would help to ground me and allow me time to process my emotions. As I stepped into the shower I could feel my shoulders relax, I didn’t even realize how much tension I was holding in them.

I put my head back and allowed the water to wash over me. I had waited for today for weeks. I was so excited for it. It felt unfair to be here and not have it play out the way that I wanted. I took a deep breath and asked the universe to show me what I was not seeing.

Almost immediately, I got clarity. I had questioned my own intuition about the situation. I even mentioned it to my mum, telling her that I wondered if it was the right thing to do. I didn’t listen to my intuition, not because I couldn’t hear it, but because I didn’t want to hear it. This was the universe solidly yelling back to me “can you hear me now”. I went from fighting back tears to smiling within seconds. How could I overlook something that was so clear? A sense of calm came over me. I trusted the universe and in doing that I needed to step outside of my human self and realize that overlooking something just because I didn’t want to hear it was downright silly. I was trying to control the situation rather than relaxing into the flow that the universe was providing to me. I admitted, standing naked in the shower, that I didn’t know better and that I had no business trying to control the situation. Just like that, I became the water that was pouring over me and figured out how to flow again.