Your opinion of my spiritual journey is absolutely none of my business. It is a statement that I have heard over and over again and believed. But if I am being honest, I didn’t feel it on a deep level, I simply heard it. I was forced to face this a couple of weeks ago. I was forced to feel this, and I made the choice to feel it deeply.
I was challenged on my spiritual journey, what it looked like and what it felt like. It wasn’t the questions that were asked, it was the tone in which they were asked that required me to dig deep on this topic. I knew in the moment that the conversation was happening, that it would be a learning and growing opportunity for me, and it was. In the moment, I responded from a place of truth and vulnerability but I will solidly admit that it stung, it downright hurt to have someone whom I trusted thrash judgement at me without knowledge of the situation.
I spent a couple of weeks processing the conversation. It rattled in my head during runs, yoga, baths, walks and really anytime that gave me time to process. It is one thing to say “your opinion of my spiritual journey is absolutely none of my business” and it is an entirely different thing to mean it with every ounce of your soul. It was such a beautiful and intense lesson for me to learn, embrace and embody.
The more that I processed the conversation, the more I realized that I was handing over power. I was giving this individual power by allowing her opinion to matter to me, at which point I was forced to ask myself if that was what I meant to do. The answer was simple and came quickly, it was a solid and resounding NO. I asked myself why I was gifting this power and realized that it was external validation. While the desire for external validation was something that I worked hard to remove from my world, it became clear that it was still here, just in a different manner than I was used to seeing it. I was used to seeing it when I was seeking it. I had not realized that I could be struggling with external validation even when I was not the one seeking it but look…… there it was. It seemed so obvious as soon as I recognized it. Her opinion of my spiritual journey mattered to me, but only because I let it. So, I took my power back and accepted that she could think anything that she wanted about my journey and that it would not have an impact on me. I refused to give away my power like that.
It was also a beautiful reminder that I never get the right to have judgement about any other individual's spiritual journey. Your truths, your journey, your experiences are just that….. they are yours. If you honor your truths, your journey, your experiences as your own and innately perfect for where you are on your journey, then what someone else thinks about them really does not matter. Not at all. Not even a little.
