“Find your integrity, whatever that means to you” she said casually as she continued speaking about yoga and instructing.
The statement rattled in my brain throughout the rest of the session and over the next couple of days. The statement followed me into the shower, up hills on my runs, washed dishes with me, stood at my desk next to me working, swept the floor with me and crawled into bed with me at night.
“Find your integrity, whatever that means to you”.
What does that mean to me?
Can I be both standing in my integrity and also not, all at the same time?
Can I be standing in integrity on one topic and way off on another?
Can standing in my integrity be holding a boundary but allowing everything up to that point?
Can I move my boundary as I change?
Can integrity be a transition or does it have to be all at once?
Is alignment with my soul path and integrity the same?
Is the “best that I can do” integrity? Is it the best that I can do?
Can you do something with integrity that you do not want to do?
I decided that it was worth dumping more time and energy into. Throughout my day, I would ask myself if I was standing in my integrity. During conversations, during actions, during events, during moments of nothingness. The more that I asked, the more confusing and also the more clear it all became. I realized how frequently I compromised my integrity, not on huge things but on small things. The real question is “why”? Why would I compromise my integrity on small things, for example spending time on a task that my heart wasn’t in or continuing to speak with someone when I really wanted to be done with the conversation. This was a practice that I had done alignment with multiple times, but integrity is slightly different than alignment, for me anyways. It was a powerful experience and one that I am not done working on and through. It leads quickly to the path called “the bigger picture in life”.
And so, I will say to you, “find your integrity, whatever that means to you” my friend.
