You may or may not know this about me. I was raised on a farm. I loved it. I learned about the life cycle. I learned about hard work. I learned about family. I learned about nature. I learned about the universe.
I own a little farm now myself. The neighbor keeps his cows here. It doesn’t feel like home unless there are cows in my pastures. I wait for the spring morning when they arrive and I am sad in early winter when they leave.
Each morning I water the cows while I water the gardens and the chickens and dance my faery soul around the property. It is my morning routine. It involves a nightgown, a cup of coffee, a watering can or two and every ounce of my happiness. It makes me whole and it starts my day in a way that brings peace and happiness.
Yesterday, something felt off. I felt it inside my body as clearly as I can feel a truth or lie. The cows were holding their bodies in a different manner and made noises when they normally do not. I spoke with my mother about it and she agreed. I walked all through the pastures and counted the cows to ensure that they were all there. They were all there yet I felt no better. Unsettled was the word that I would use to describe the cows, and they are normally faithfully settled. I felt deep in my soul that there was a cow out in the woods outside the pasture yet all of them were accounted for.
This morning as I watered I didn’t dance. In fact, I felt a little sick inside. I picked the vegetables quickly and carried them back to the house. It was early and the sun was just rising. I ran up the stairs to my mothers place with a pail of cukes and squash. Before I could tell her that something felt wrong she said “something isn’t right with the cows”. I responded back that I knew, I felt it too and I was waiting for an appropriate time to call the farmer who owned them.
I walked along the treeline and as I walked I immediately got a sense that there was an ill animal close to me. I stepped over a stonewall and instantly knew that I was by the sick animal. I was chatting on the phone with my father about my son who was going to visit for the day. I remember saying “there is something here” and him asking what I was talking about. I felt the animal and started looking. I laid eyes on fur only feet from me and slowly stepped back. No animal that was healthy would let me walk that close to it during daylight. I walked back assuming that it was a rabid animal.
As morning drew on I decided it was acceptable to call the farmer, he was out of town for a funeral. I explained that I had walked the pastures and that the cows were all there but that something was not right. I felt it deep in my soul. He is sweet and said that he would come and walk in the woods around the pasture when he got home in the afternoon to see if there was something upsetting the animals. He told me that likely one of his cows was in heat, I didn't agree. I had seen cows in heat a good many times and this wasn’t a heat. We talked about the fact that it could be a neighbors cow who was out of her pasture and agreed that I would call him.
I spoke with the other neighbor who agreed that he would check it out. He went down the treeline and checked it. He called me back to tell me that there were no signs of cows out there and that everything was fine. I wanted to yell “bullshit” but instead I said “ok”.
I put on my boots and walked out in the woods again. I felt it in my body and I decided that I wasn’t going to be told no. I knew it as a truth. I let my body lead me. I walked straight up to the animal again and this time it moved. I jumped back. I went back to the house and got my ex, who was visiting my children, to come back with me. I explained that I felt that there was an animal that was ill and I needed another person to know that I was out there with the animal. He asked if he should bring something to kill it with, in the event that it was suffering. I immediately wrinkled my face and said “NO”. We walked out and back to the animal. At this point it had wiggled out from under the bush and rather than just traces of fur you could see an actual animal. “Oh shit, it’s a calf” I said as we stepped up to the stone wall. I turned around and ran back to the house to call the farmer. The farmer didn’t realize that he had a pregnant cow. It meant that this animal wasn’t well. The cow had tucked the calf somewhere on the treeline and the calf had moved out into the woods where the cow could not go because of the fence. The calf was likely hungry, likely dehydrated, likely didn’t have too long, given that it was 90 degrees and the animal had clearly not been cared for by the mom.
I knew that the owner was still at a funeral so I called the other neighbor who is a farmer. He came down. He was surprised because earlier he went down the treeline and saw nothing. We walked out into the woods. I walked him right up to the calf but he couldn’t see her. When I pointed her out he laughed and asked how I even found her. I explained that I could feel her in my body. We peeked at the calf from about 2 feet away and then agreed to wait until the owner came home.
About an hour later, the owner showed up at my house. We walked out into the woods and the calf was gone. He started looking around and told me that he would find her. I felt in my body that he was going the wrong way, I just walked next to him and chatted. He asked me to tell him again how I found the calf so I talked him through the story. Eventually, I told him I was going the other way to look for her. He smiled and told me that the calf wouldn’t go that way. I said “ok” knowing that he was right, the calf should not have gone that way,but also trying to stay true to the feelings inside my body. He walked off and I closed my eyes. I center myself and then opened my eyes and let my body lead. Eventually, my body stopped and there, deep in the bush, berries and trees was the calf. I yelled to the farmer. He smiled and said “how on earth did you do that”. I laughed and said “I felt her, in my body”. He looked at me for a long pause and then got ready to carry the calf out of the woods. As he carried the calf he said “I will remember you and this the next time I am missing something”
The calf was reunited with the mother and while she was dehydrated and hungry and struggling to stand, she started nursing and quickly came back to life. As he shut the door to the trailer with the mama and calf inside he looked over at me and said “I don’t really understand it all, but thank you because she wouldn’t have lived much longer”.
